It’s very not alive…

As previously reported, there was a little trouble with the not so trusty steed carefully selected for the transportation task. On a sad and cold Friday the 27th of June an answerphone message was left for me, stating that getting the Minor through any sort of MOT was going to take an act of all known Gods, or maybe the Osmonds. Either way, there was a big creek and no paddle in sight.

I gave the garage till Monday to stop laughing before I called them with the sit rep; the underside of the Minor might as well be made out of cheese is about the response I got. I knew there were a few holes (read colander) but I thought it was nothing that couldn’t be rectified. Unfortunately their estimate on welding was… a tad… steep.

This meant two things… another car needed to be found and there was no time for the carnet needed to get through the more… beurocratic nations. This was a major bugger, as doing the width of the Sahara was the main draw of this route for me. I guess it’ll have to wait till next Summer.

So, the route would be the West Coast with the other guys. The trusty steed…?

Thankfully I got rid of my MR2 a few weeks ago and opted for something that went for more than a month without destroying my bank balance. Some would say I only traded in one Japanese sports car for another. They’d be wrong. My new daily run-around was a Nissan Micra from the fine year of 1988 boasting a whole one litre of displacement (what or where that litre is I’ll never know). Not only was this car old and undeniably shit but it has broken down on my 3 times in the month that I’ve owned it. Therefore there was no other worthier candidate, and the quest for the missing steed had finished before it even began.

Thankfully the Micra has near enough a years MOT on it and is taxed for longer than it’s likely to last in my hands on English roads let alone African ones. So… bring it on.

The last few days has seen money vanishing out of my pocket quicker than you can say “two litre 3SGE anyone?” the result of which has been a stockpile of lots of seemingly useful kit, that will no doubt break or disappear before I get a chance to use it… it shows willing though! Most things have been bought for the car ready for the fab lab sessions on Friday and Saturday getting the formidable Micra into a continent eating rallybeast! Or something.

Still, onward and upward. Half of Team PSM leaves on Thursday to head to Ireland and the start point while the other half waits to be picked up from Poole on Monday on the way through as prior engagements dictate (nothing to do with doubting the fearsome Micra).

Stay tuned. It’s getting close…

Why oh Wye?

Yesterday was a tale of Woe-in-Wye.

I’m not having a real good time lately, am I? It seems bad karma has been stored for a while to be unleashed upon me just days before we start this rally… I don’t know if that’s a sign that I really shouldn’t be doing it, or just making the whole thing more exciting and more of a challenge - after all, it’s not an adventure until your plans go wrong

Anyway, yesterday started off fairly well - I went to Race Spec in Tewkesbury to pick up some bits for the KTM, and also to get some body armour (better to be safe as possible when being pitched over the handle bars…). Got all my bits, and then realised I was only 60 miles from Hay-on-Wye, so got Greg to text me the address of the council offices whilst I made my way there.

Unfortunately, I got stuck behind Miss Daisy driving a truck, so didn’t arrive till 5.00, by which time the Council offices were closed. Still, I took a few hours looking around the place that will be our “official” start next year… it’s a small quiet town, and something like Humphrey will certainly not go unnoticed.

As I got in the car to start my journey home, I noticed something wasn’t quite right - when I got back out, the front passenger side tyre was hanging off the rim… not sure if the tyre had been slashed or it was an unfortunate bit of glass or something, anyway… luckily I found me spare is a full size tyre and not one of those (waste of) space savers. 2 local boys helped me change the tyre, pints were consumed, and then I was on my way again.

Not a good day - hopefully tomorrow will be better!

I’m off to the Horizons Unlimited meeting tomorrow, so will be speaking to many people, trying out all of the comms and gadgets we’ll be taking on the rally, and generally giving all of my kit a pre rally test.

 

 

We’re going when?

12 days till the big launch in Faugheen Co. Tipp, 9 days till the UK Craic Commandoes descend on Ireland and just about the perfect time to take Humphrey to bits. Yep, to bits. So at present the magnificent Humph is parked patiently, bonnet up in the bunker awaiting his new water pump. His halogen headlight conversion is complete and we’re taking the little time remaining to get everything just right for the off. Now sensible people would have said “you should have done this earlier”, but we reply “Like, earlier when?”

So for the last week he’s been getting the full prep, doing every little detail and making all the good stuff better. Only way to go, cos remember, it’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you’ve done to it. So in the next 5 days we hope to add a coilover booster spring setup to the front and rear axles, make an airbox, wire in a new relay for the spots, make new door/boot/bonnet seals, fit all the extra electrical stuff (radio/inverter/12Vsockets/CB/GPS/interior fans/fridge), wax oil underneath and make a cargo bed in the back for all our stuff. The roofrack needs a floor and we need to coat the jerrycans in our special tough paint, which we lovingly refer to as “Poo”.

Are we busy? Meh. Are we stressing? Nah.

Team Suspect Device - No Bullshit. No Drama. Just Contraptions.

Musical vehicles

Not a good day today. Having conversed with the other teams, it seems that there are problems with vehicles, carnets and visas. After much hair tearing out, we appear to have resolved the issues at hand, however - it now means that ALL teams are taking the Western route, Team PSM are now taking a Nissan Micra, and I’m now taking my KTM 525 (that’s a motorcycle, incase you didn’t know).

As this is my blog entry, I’m going to talk about the changes to my plans. After the decision was made to take the western route, I decided to switch vehicles to the KTM. Reason being that early next year I’ll be doing the same route in the B2 Rally (in the SJ), and didn’t want to be doing it twice. The KTM is designed for desert racing, so it should be a real hoot - especially safe in the knowledge that I have 2 mechanics to hand should it decide to misbehave. It realy was the chance to grab an opportunity that won’t come along too many times.

BUT…

It now means I’ve got only about a week to get the KTM road worthy and prepared. Luckily, it’s not in too bad a shape. It needs indicators wiring in, a horn, mirrors and a few other things bolting back on that I’ve stripped off. It also needs the race exhaust changing for a road legal one. Once the MOT is done, I can then go about finishing my prep work - fitting the ASV F3 levers, rotator clamps, pivot pegz, etc etc. Still, shouldn’t take longer than a day or two.

With the prospect of 6 weeks in the saddle, I just hope that Renazco seat is worth what I paid for it

On Show (again)

Last weekend (22nd June) Humphrey attended his second show. This time we aimed our lunacy at Mondello Park Racetrack in Naas, County Kildare for their Classic and Vintage show. As usual Humphrey tore up under his own steam and we made camp at Micks house in the Wicklow Mountains. Good old Humphrey is at the stage where he needed little more than a quick polish and off like stink for the show. We frightened the life out of the poor soul at the gate (who had seen Humphrey the day before to collect his stickers) with the klaxon. We have arrived.

We pootled into position in the Featured Cars section right in the heart of the show and locked up the beast. The weather was relatively malicious but the turn out was great. Lots of hardy souls who don’t mind taking out their expensive machines in all weathers to show the public. Proper order, we like their style. The day was mostly spent mooching around and generally getting our heads in, under and around the different types of machinery there.

The time then came for Humphrey to hit the track. Now we were aware of a slight water leak up front but we knew it was no biggy, just a water pump seal, we’ve a new one waiting in the bunker. So we topped up and got in the queue. 5 minutes of idling then flapflapflapflap charge light on. Bugger. Bob hopped out and pulled a snapped fan belt out of the engine. Bugger again. Still it could have happened on the track. Back to our spot and 10 mins later new fan belt in and we’re good to go.

Track Chance 2 was upon us and this time we took our place at the head of the field. Our mate John who looks after Operations in Mondello was grinning from ear to ear at the sight of our mighty contraption amidst the mega-bucks machines. Funnily enough they stayed away from our bullbars.

We pottered out onto the track and had great craic following the safety car and squirting and farting about the place. We ended up beside a lovely BMW 3.0 CSL and even managed to stay ahead of him on the start-finish straight as we gunned Humph before he knew what happened. Plenty of klaxon work for the crowd and daft cornering for the cameras. At one point a dickhead in an old Merc who was cutting everyone up tried his luck against us and almost met his maker. I don’t lift and we sure as hell weren’t letting him through. He got the message very quickly that you don’t mess with Team Suspect Device.

After the hilarity of the track we filed back into the paddock and had a good laugh and discussion about the few laps. In the interest of camaraderie we parked beside a pristine Morris Minor and took a few photos. Only for the owner to come along with a scowl and move his car to another spot. And people wonder why some classic car bods suffer from stereotyping???!! All through the day we had guys with seriously expensive machines having the laugh with us, enjoying the craic and wishing us well. Then this guy. We don’t offend easily though. We realise that this particular chap who looked to be in his 50’s probably still lives with his mother, keeps the car in a carpeted and heated garage, washes it with shampoo while wearing marigold gloves and can talk at length about production line statistics from the Morris factory over a glass of Guinness in his favourite anorak for hours. Fair play to you mate, you’re a credit. I bet you’re the life and soul, and nothing like the invalid specimen of a man first impressions would convey. You do Morris Minors your way and we’ll do them ours.

Team Suspect Device - always outnumbered, never outgunned.

The Trip to Tipp

Friday, Day 2 of Humphrey Rides Again saw us waking early to begin prepping for Humphreys first ever car show. We were heading to the prestigious Carrick-on-Suir Motor Club Festival of Motorsport. In order to have the mighty Morris in all his finery a trip to B&Q and Halfords was called for.

B&Q yielded the necessary drain pipe pieces to finish the snorkels and Halfords were done for some wiper blades, some blue leds, crimp on connections and an air freshener. Sorted, back to the Bunker.

After a morning of fixing and fitting we launched for Faugheen. We overnighted at Ruths, a friend of Bobs (whos Dad is also contraption mad and delighted to drive Humphrey about) and the following morning after a fantastic fryup we took off for the 6 miles trip to the show.

At the showgrounds officials promptly wet themselves at the site of Humphrey and he did us proud as he bolted across the grass and through gates like a demented gazelle. One official may have had a stroke when he was asked “Where’s the concours category?”. We spent the whole day chatting to people, frightening children with the klaxon and generally explaining the T2 rally and our mission. The car was a huge hit with everyone and we got the thumbs up from the classic car boys (I thought they’d linch us) for our work in such a small amount of time. Irelands (maybe the worlds) only Rally-Raid Morris Minor is a major talking point now and much as we’d wished myself and Bob are now infamous.

Day 2 of the show was spent in a heap on the stall, we had spent the whole night arsing about discussing everything from route plans to how much better tractor-fighting would be to bull-fighting that we literally found ourselves sitting in the carpark at dawn with no sleep. Genius. People didn’t mind, and we put in a heroic days advertising and chatting again. This being Sunday it was unbelievably busy, the weather was fantastic and we got a great shout out on the tannoy from Mad Dougie the Mikeman. That’ll do. That evening we collected our certificate, broke camp and headed along the long road back to the bunker. Suffice to say apart from the usual hallucinations it was a quiet night for us (we were knackered).

Mission accomplished, the T2 Rally is on everyones lips and Humphrey is a hit.

Switching to Manual

After some frantic welding/painting/wiring/plumbing etc etc the time had come to introduce Humphrey to the tarmac and at the same time introduce Tipperary to the notion of the T2 Rally. First stop was Bob’s Bunker in Wicklow.

Last thursday, after much work and tea, Humphrey made his way to the tax office for the last of his paperwork. He drew a fine crowd of bewidered onlookers and amused the lady from the tax office who came down to confirm his new paint scheme. Sadly “Cow” is on the system as a registered colour so he is now down as White/Blue. Good enough. Introducing flip choices onto tax discs would cause too much bother.

That night after fuelling and packing the beast we launched for Wicklow 200 yards down the road, splutter–fart–stop. Fuel line kinked and fuel pump upset. Never ones to panic we pushed Humphrey to safer ground and began the fixin’. Job done in 20 minutes, off like stink.

40 miles later approaching Roscrea, brrrrrrrmmm—-poot—-splutterfart—stop. This was going to be awkward. Here we were on the side of a busy road, in the approaching dark with no lights and timber trucks whizzing by inches from our heads as we tried to fix the pump points as our torch got dimmer, and dimmer, and dimmer.

Luckily both Bob and myself have the night vision of cats due to years of doing this kind of thing with various contraptions, but after an hour and a half we were getting tired. No matter what we did the fuel pump would not switch off and kindly spat raw petrol all over the hot exhaust. Nice. Solution? In true Team Suspect Device style we jammed the fuel pump points closed to keep it running, pulled off it’s feed wire, attached the one from the wiper motor beside it and we took off for Wicklow with me simply turning on the wipers/fuelpump every 10 seconds or so. A sleeping bag on the passenger seat to rest my arm and it was quite manageable!

The next day we whacked in a rebuilt pump and got ready to show Humphrey off.

Thoroughly exhausting

It’s been a while since I made an update, so thought it was about time I did so.

Last weekend was spent mainly driving all over the country to collect parts for the SJ.

Saturday I drove to Berkshire to collect a toy for something that we’ve got planned for after the T2. There will be more information about that in a few months. 

On Sunday I drove to Cumbria to collect a roof top tent (the Oasis model from Trekking.fr). I can’t enthuse enough about how great this thing is. Forget about your 50Kg Eezi-Awns and similar. This little sucker weighs 19Kg, and because the base is essentially a hammock, it doesn’t need a heavy plywood base and mattress that can also go rotten. I love it, and even Greg was suitably impressed by it.

On the way back from Cumbria I passed through Derby to collect a full stainless exhaust system for the jeep - a bargainous 50 quid on Ebay - new too! It’s a thing of beauty - I’d much prefer to mount it on a wall than under the jeep, but needs must…

Other than that, I’ve bene busy with preparing the infrastructure and other backend gubbins for next years T2 website. It’s gonna be awesome

It’s Alive! (Again)

Well, I had a fair amount on Monday checking the plugs and then, on discovering that they were thoroughly coated in crap, wondering how the poor Minor ever ran! The kind thing to do was give them a good clean and chuck them back in, which would be rewarded by the sound of a much healthier car. Or not. It was another one of those delightful key turning but non-starting moments.

Today… all the ingredients were right to undo this wrong.

Having procured a set of leads and plugs and swapped them without any ado about anything I turned the key to the sound of a delightfully healthy(ish) 1098 block chugging along happily. No longer does the car kick out plumes of blue smoke either! It did start to produce some steamy looking smoke after running for a few minutes though, so I imagine the head has gone but I do need to check some other vital statistics (as well as borrow a head compression tester) before getting too excited.

One revelation, on driving the car forward and backward a few feet, was that the clutch isn’t… erm… well… great. When I pushed the pedal down I was greeted with a sound and heart-wrenching feeling that I could possibly equate to the moment the last dinosaur died. More investigation will be needed in this respect…

Still, progress is progress. Time to move on to the battle of the Algerian visa.

Bovine Bling

What do you get if you cross two less-than-sensible mentalists, 2.5 compressors, 10 litres of paint and flip lacquer, 8 miles of masking tape, 47 cups of tea, and six acres of old newspaper? The worlds first blue-flip friesian Morris Minor with teeth!!

After a mammoth 40 hour paint fume consumption session, Team Suspect Devices rallybeast Humphrey is now sporting his new look. One compression calved, thunder storms knocked off our electricity twice, we forgot to eat for an entire day and we have made up a new language. We ran out of paint twice and butchered 2 compressors to make bits for the third. Read more

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